Why “Luggage Class” Is Much Better Than First-Class

Have you ever traveled luggage-class before? It’s like a billion times more awesome than first-class! These are just some of the reasons why.

First-class. The envy of all travelers everywhere. It’s truly how the ultra-rich get from point A to point B with complimentary alcohol, ample legroom, top-notch service, and plenty of privacy.

But hold on now, there’s a brand new class in town.

I’m sure you all know someone who’s traveled first-class before. Maybe you’ve even been lucky enough to experience it for yourself…

Yet how many people do you know who travel in luggage-class?

Yup. This is waaaaay more exclusive.

Luggage Compartment Travel

If you don’t already know, long distance bus travel in Thailand can be very comfortable in first-class. The seats are big, have plenty of leg room, and often recline pretty far back.

A few snacks and drinks are handed out over the course of the journey. VIP class buses also include personal LCD screens with movies & games.

Over the past few months, I’ve traveled on quite a few of these buses. Sure they’ve been nice. But nothing mind-blowing.

Today I traveled in luggage-class for the first time. Underneath the bus, inside the luggage compartment full of bags.

I sincerely believe it’s the next best thing in luxury travel!

Private VIP Entrance

The very first thing I noticed after receiving my premiere luggage-class ticket was that we had a separate entrance from everyone else on the bus.

While first-class passengers were forced to endure a grueling climb up a flight of stairs, us luggage-class folk only needed to duck into our private 4-foot tall padded & windowless door.

I felt special already!

Limited Distractions

Once settled onto a bench between 10 other people in the luggage compartment, the doors closed and we began moving. Only now did I truly begin to appreciate how extraordinary this journey would be.

Up in first-class, there are all kinds of annoying distractions that get in the way of a comfortable bus ride. Things like movies, music, large windows, and light. Not so in luggage-class!

A single dim light bulb cast enough of a glow to allow me to stare at my own reflection on the stainless-steel wall 12 inches from my face.

Soothing sounds of speeding bus tires over highway asphalt combined with the roar of a diesel engine.

No more watching in horror as bus drivers attempt to pass slow-moving cars, playing chicken with oncoming traffic.

Luggage-class allows your imagine to run wild about the risks he’s taking from under the bus in darkness.

Luxury Spa Treatments

What you may not know about luggage-class is that with the price of a ticket you also receive complimentary spa treatments. Everyone is sitting in a windowless reflective metal box.

It’s a bit like a sauna in there — allowing your pores to sweat freely and purge your body of those notoriously unhealthy evil toxins.

Free massages were included too! A 5-year-old girl repeatedly poked me in the back for a majority of the trip, while a sleeping elderly man rubbed his bare feet on my hip.

Unrivaled Entertainment

Who needs to be entertained with pirated Hollywood movies dubbed in Thai without English subtitles? With luggage-class, you’ll enjoy multiple forms of high-quality entertainment.

Like screaming babies. Or puking babies. Maybe a crazy man who talks to himself.

Of course, if you’re lucky, like me, you’ll be able to experience all three during your 2-hour long trip. Boredom is never a problem when traveling in luggage-class!

Ultimate Exclusivity

Are you the type of person who only wants the best? Constantly trying to one-up your neighbor? Maybe first-class just isn’t as exclusive as it used to be.

  • Everyone has first-class. Only developing countries and Michigan have luggage-class.
  • Impress friends at parties with your tales of elegant overland excursions from underneath a bus.
  • Why gaze at the countryside when you can gaze at yourself in the dark? It’s totally ironic. You’ll be the hippest hipster around.

So get with the times and join the hottest, most exclusive luxury travel club on the planet. Arrive at your next destination in style with luggage-class! ★

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